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Post by Ray on Nov 27, 2015 23:19:29 GMT -7
Bucky nods, doubting that he'd be able to give her whatever it is that she seeks from Steve. They've known each other for some time, but he also knows she, like everyone else, expects the Bucky that doesn't exist. With Steve, somehow it isn't so complicated, so hard, to pretend. He can smile and laugh just as easily as he did before all of this. He can love just as easily as he did. Somehow, Steve brings out the best in him, whatever that may be; but without him....
Without him, he's this. A shadow. A ghost. Hands so used to the feel and weight of a gun that they're practically a part of him. He's changed. God, he's changed. Ten years ago, and he hadn't even been able to hold a gun without shaking, without feeling sick, without feeling scared. Twenty, and it wasn't even him who controlled which way the gun pointed. But the fact remains: he's a better weapon, and a lousy excuse for James Buchanan Barnes.
Teresa pauses to look back at him, giving him a warning he hadn't heard in a long, long time. A small furrow forms between his brows as he watches her, wondering how much she actually knows. How much Barton or Steve or anyone actually told her. Maybe that's why she's not frightened. Not worried.
A muscle jumps in his jaw.
"Teresa." He calls out before she can leave. He walks forward, all the while pulling his bloodied black t-shirt back over his head and letting the hem fall to his waist. "I actually...need your help." He admits, though a part of him, the part he's buried deep, wonders why. "My arm." He says as he comes to a halt two steps away, blue eyes dropping to silver expanse of his left arm. He twists it to reveal the dented metal plate. "It's damaged." Bucky lifts his gaze back to her face. "I could use an extra pair of hands."
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 27, 2015 23:32:37 GMT -7
After Teresa had said her warning to be careful she was ready to head back out. The last thing Bucky probably needed was for her to hang around especially when she knows his secret, of what he does when Steve isn't around or is asleep. But that was his secret and if he wanted anyone to know then he would have to tell them himself, like she said. His secret is safe with her.
So when he calls out to her she is actually surprised that she turns back and looks at him expecting something other than the fact that he needed her help. She didn't know what she expected but that definitely wasn't what she had thought he would say.
Teresa moved her eyes away from his face and then to his arm when he said that he needed her help and that his arm was damaged. He had stepped forward and was a couple of steps away and she bit down on her lip when he said that he could use an extra pair of hands. "I don't know what I'm doing but if you talk me through it then I can help" she said with a smile and then reached back and put her hair up in a ponytail before removing her jacket.
It wasn't hard to see that Lexi and Teresa was completely different, other than the fact they weren't really related. Lexi didn't care if anyone didn't like her. She was like Katherine in that way, where as Teresa felt more worried about the fact that no one liked her. She felt someone's words hurt her more than Lexi. So for Bucky to ask her for help she was actually thinking maybe it was a step in the right direction for some sort of friendship. She had known the Bucky from the '40s and she had to admit that it was a little hard to adjust but she was trying to get there herself. She was willing to try, as long as he would be patient with her then everything would be good.
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 0:07:51 GMT -7
"It's not difficult." Bucky replies, and it's only partially a lie. On the surface, the damage is minor, and if it weren't for the nagging pain pulsating through the entirety of the arm, pain that feels too real for a limb that isn't, he wouldn't even bother. But the bullet, as wildly off its target as it was, managed to hit something still connected to the part of him that feels. He'd ask Stark for the help, if it weren't for the list of questions that he'd have to face, and the never-ending sarcasm, if he did.
He's also not sure he's ready to let Tony get that close. That personal. Not when he's still not sure he can trust her.
Bucky steps towards the couch and settles onto the edge of the cushion, tugging a knife from his belt as he does so. With the point of the blade, he digs the knife into the grove between the damaged blades, carefully running up and down the seam to find a point of access. He clamps his mouth flat when his hair falls in his face, making it hard to see what the hell he's doing. He huffs out a breath and pulls the knife free, laying it flat across his knee. With one swooping motion, he runs his fingers up through his dark hair, and pulls it back into a handful at the back of his head. Bucky uses his teeth to tug a hair-tie off of his wrist, and snakes it around his thick hair with practiced ease. As soon as it's out of his way, he picks the blade up once more, and slides it back into place.
He searches for a few seconds, until there's a distinct click of the knife finding its target. He pushes the knife deeper, then angles downwards, and pops the damaged plate off like he's popping open a simple jar of pickles. "Hold this." He instructs, flipping the blade in the air and catching it by the blade. He holds the handle towards her, and twists his arm to get a good view inside.
An organized web of wires, internal sensors, and circuits lay out in the open for the both of them to see, looking far more difficult than he told her it would be.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 28, 2015 6:41:05 GMT -7
Teresa nods when he says that it wasn't difficult but for some reason she still felt nervous about helping him out. But he had asked and she wasn't going to turn down someone who needed help, even if he didn't actually ask for help that often.
She watched as he moved towards the couch and follows after him, watching as he tugs a knife from his belt and starts to work on his arm. Teresa was sure that if it was anyone else then she would be pretty horrified about the fact that they were sticking a knife into their arm but she actually found it somewhat fascinating. Maybe she really did have a messed up mind.
His hair then fell around his face as he tried to get the knife in and she actually ached to run her fingers through his hair and put it back for him but he would probably think that was a bit too much so she just cleared her throat softly and saw that he had put his own hair up. Bucky then handed her the knife and she took it before she actually leaned a bit more closer. Not too close that she would be in his way but enough that she would actually still be able to see in his arm.
Teresa had so many questions but she guessed that it wasn't really needed while he was sorting his arm out. It might look fascinating but it looked harder than he had said it would be. "Not difficult, huh?" she said and raised her eyebrow at him before scoffing. Teresa would try anything once, unless she actually liked doing it then she would do it again but this was one of those times when she wasn't sure if she would actually help again because it really did look a lot more difficult than he had actually said it would be. She pulled her lip in between her teeth before putting her dark eyes on his arm once more.
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 6:59:43 GMT -7
Bucky's mouth twitches upwards in a slight smile, and he glances up at her through the few loose strands of dark hair that already wriggled their way free. "Only if you consider rocket science hard." He deadpans, deciding that brooding isn't going to help either one of them in this situation. He could sulk all damn day, thinking about Steve and Hydra and Steve and the secrets he still keeps from him. Sometimes he lets himself get too wrapped up in all of it; more often than he lets himself forget about it entirely. Teresa doesn't need his shit.
"I won't make you perform surgery." Bucky murmurs, calming any apprehension she might have. He can already see what's wrong, even in the slightly dim lighting and the awkward angle. A connector, like a nerve, was pinched and sealed off by the bullet's impact, causing a short that feels too much like real, measurable pain. "But you have smaller fingers than me." He admits, tossing the removed panel onto the coffee table. The heavy metal clatters across the marble surface noisily.
"See that wire?" He asks, pointing at it vaguely. "I'm gonna need you to take that knife, and cut it at the top, right where it meets the circuit." The explanation is simplified, and by no means technical. After leaving, escaping, Hydra, he'd had to learn how to fix his arm himself without any science know-how. From the many scar-like sautering jobs down here and there along the surface of the dense metal, it's fairly evident that he's no expert himself. But he knows enough.
Bucky angles his arm so the light shines right into the interior, giving her plenty of visibility to see.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 28, 2015 7:16:53 GMT -7
Teresa couldn't help but want to actually laugh,she hated to think about it but it was stuff like this, maybe not working on a metal arm, that she was going to have to learn if she wanted to be a nurse. Things happened and it would be handy, no pun intended, if she knew stuff like this.
"If you did then I could put that down as learning experience" she said in a teasing manner to lighten the moment. Teresa, thankfully, had never been put in this situation. the most she's ever really had to do was clean up a couple of cuts when people had fought in the bar back in Mystic.
Teresa glanced over her shoulder as the heavy metal panel makes a noise on the coffee table before she put her eyes back on his arm when he started to talk to her. It would be better if her attention was actually on the very thing that Bucky wanted her help with. She glanced at her hands quickly when he said that she had smaller fingers and was actually now thankful for her small hands. Everyone said they were cute in size and now she was thankful for that because it meant that she could help.
She moved closer when he said about the wire and then nodded. Teresa looked up at him and then cleared her throat. "I apologise in advance if I hurt you" she said with a slight smile and then looked back at the arm before she leaned in a little bit closer.
Teresa saw the wire and put the knife to it at the top and cut it. Although she had to admit that she was actually worried about whether or not he would try and strangle her if she hurt him in any way. It was probably best not to actually tell him that because he was already worried about what she had seen the night before. She leaned up after cutting the wire. Teresa might not be performing surgery but she had to admit that it certain felt like it for those few seconds.
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 7:32:20 GMT -7
He tuts out a slight laugh at her apology, his eyes remaining trained on her hands as she carefully leans in to cut the connector. He's had the pleasure of feeling the very hot, very real heat of what he could only describe as a laser as they seared the arm into his shoulder; metal melting into flesh and flesh melting into metal. Getting his arm poked and prodded and dissected filled up nearly ten years of his life, not counting the increasingly countless repairs he's undergone, and the damage that preceded them.
Teresa hurting him, at least in this way, is the least of his concern.
But as soon as she cuts the wire with a smooth single slice, the only annoying ping of pain shooting up and down his arm turns into a consistent stream of electric shock. His metal hand fists reflexively, the gears whirring in protest as they shift back and forth, trying to make up for the sudden disconnect. Yet Bucky remains calm, collected, controlled.
"Now I need you to take the same wire," he continues, shifting his human hand back upwards to give her direction, ignoring its slight tremble. "And connect it here." He points, indicating an open socket. Silently, he hopes that it doesn't just make the whole thing worse.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 28, 2015 7:46:51 GMT -7
Teresa looks at the open socket that he was indicating and nodded once. She went to put the wire in the socket when she remembered that she infact still had the blade in her hand and she balanced it on his leg. It was either that or she put it down on the floor but he was pretty much the nearest thing to her and she had no idea why the hell she was trying to explain that to herself. Especially when she was meant to be concentrating on his arm, but it meant that her fingers were now free.
She actually hoped this worked because she had heard his metal hand fist and it was slightly scary to be this close to it and pray that it didn't do any damage to her and she didn't actually miss the slight tremble in his other hand. Teresa wasn't sure it helped but she reached out and took hold of his hand before smiling and then going back to what she was meant to be doing. She took the wire and connected it into the open socket and then waited for a moment.
Teresa moved her eyes back up to look at his face. "Is that any better?" she asked and pulled her lip in between her teeth, even if her fingers were actually still in his arm. Right now she was just thankful that she wasn't surrounded by blood. Even if again it would probably help with her training to be a nurse. She could get all the practice she had right now, maybe she could even put this down and they would actually accept it. A slight smile pulled at her lips at that thought before she cleared her throat, suddenly very aware of his metal arm.
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 8:02:41 GMT -7
Bucky flicks his blue eyes upwards when she takes a hold of his hand with a reassuring touch, catching her soft smile and kind eyes but a little bewildered by them. She's calm, calmer than most who might have found their way into this situation by luck and chance, but oddly sweet for someone who caught him threatening to cut out a man's eye only a night ago. It isn't hard to see why Steve values her and enjoys her company, but considering her affections regarding Barton, Bucky had expected more distance between them. More skepticism. More mistrust.
The surging shock up and down his arm ceases nearly as quickly as it began. His metal fist unlocks and loosens, fingers relaxing outwards and exposing an open palm. She looks to him for a response, but Bucky had scarcely realized she'd replaced the wire while he'd been lost in his own thoughts. He clears his throat and drops his gaze to the open panel on his arm.
He rolls his shoulder for good measure, feeling out all of the kinks and letting the gears settle back into the right places. "It's good." He tells her with a stiffer nod that he intended. "Thank you." He tacks on, glancing briefly in her direction once more.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 28, 2015 8:21:06 GMT -7
Teresa watches as he rolls his shoulder and smiles when he said thank you. "You're welcome" she said before standing up. Strands of her dark hair had fallen out of her own ponytail and was falling around her face, and she was pretty sure that she had sweat running down her back from being nervous about working on his arm. She wasn't sure if it had been a blessing that she had turned up when she did but at least she helped out rather than turn her back on him.
When she first met Bucky and Steve she hadn't been nasty or anything like that but she definitely wasn't feeling the way she did today, she was pretty sure that going back to the '40's had changed that for her. The first thing Steve had even said to her had been a question on whether they had met before and she had shook her head with a soft smile and said no. But the day that she had met them in Brooklyn had changed that because she had met them in a time before both Steve and Bucky had been changed and even she had to admit that she found it hard to adjust between human Bucky and the one that was sitting on the couch right now and he probably picked up on that and it made her want to apologise, many times, but from how he had reacted when she came in, he clearly expected it from her. As if in her eyes, or anyone's really, that he was always doing wrong.
"I'm just glad that I could help" she admitted and gave him a soft smile before she reached for her jacket. Teresa doubted that he would want her here anymore, especially when even she had to admit they didn't have a sort of friendship that she had with Steve. Hell those two had a closeness that not even Barton could understand, especially when she had practically shouted at him after she had come back through whatever portal she had been through that she needed to see Steve. Hell Barton still didn't understand it but he never seemed to question her over it and she was thankful for that.
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 14:37:28 GMT -7
Bucky reaches for the metal plate lying on the coffee table, rising to his feet slowly as he does so. He stands with his back perfectly straight, a militaristic pose that's more habit than natural, and angles the open entrance of his arm into view. With strong, certain fingers, he places the plate back into it's socket, and pounds a hard fist against it to lock it there. The dent remains; nothing he can really do about that without giving Tony free reign to do tests and no-doubt build him an entirely new, entirely immodest arm with built in rockets and an American flag painted over the faded red star.
It would be more funny, if Bucky didn't think that Tony would seriously try.
"Steve's always a little afraid to mess with it." Bucky admits, glancing back towards Teresa, blue eyes unintentionally doing a quick sweep over her. She's curious to him. Not because she's human or pretty, though he knows those are a few reasons why Barton likes having her around, but because she seems so...curious herself. Even Nat, for all her years practicing how to recognize triggered behavior and how to bring him down when his head gets too filled with static, wouldn't be so smiley and genuinely intrigued by all of this. But Teresa's lingering looks have nothing to do with worry or fear. "I think he's worried he's going to break something." Bucky teases faintly, a single corner of his mouth curving upwards in a slight smile.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 28, 2015 14:50:00 GMT -7
Teresa scoffed softly before looking down at her feet. Well to be honest it's actually nice to know that even Steve is worried. But at the same time it's worrying to know that Steve is worried about something like that because it puts the rest of the group on edge then.
"Maybe he's afraid that he's going to cause you some sort of pain" she said with a slight smile. Teresa definitely was worried about that and mostly because she didn't want his hand to actually strangle her if she did that. She moved her eyes up from the ground and looked at him.
Teresa knew that the others were worried about Bucky and probably not in the way that if he got caught with them then they would probably be in trouble, no it was more than that. Something worried the others about Bucky and she wasn't deaf to how Barton was with him. She didn't understand, maybe because she had been so far out of the loop with these guys that she didn't have the privilege to know.
She wasn't like Barton, not really, and definitely didn't call herself a superhero because that definitely didn't apply to her but she liked to think that she was still pretty important, even if it was just to Barton. "Why are you doing it?" She asked after a moment. "Why are you going around and doing what you're doing?"
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 15:28:56 GMT -7
"Yeah, maybe." Bucky murmurs in reply, nodding his head a little. He thinks the arm scares Steve. Not the kind of fear that comes from the anticipation of violence. Not the kind of fear that'd make Steve flinch away each time he moves. Steve never really had the sense to avoid danger, especially not if it concerned his childhood best friend. But Bucky catches him sometimes, when he's shirtless or they're lying together or when he itches at the scars like lightning strikes across his shoulder and chest. Steve will watch him, silently, sadly, and Bucky can almost see the images rolling across the back of Steve's mind like newsreels. Images of torture, of pain, of agony. He'll touch his arm like it'll crumble beneath his fingertips, despite it being the strongest part of him. He'll brush his mouth across the scars like they still hurt him.
Bucky lifts his boot to rest on the coffee table, heel hanging off, as he unstraps the holster from his thigh. He pauses when she speaks up, asking two questions he expected half an hour ago. He doesn't look at her; instead his chin tucks a little more towards his chest, and he remains quiet for a moment. His foot drops from the table, and he tosses the holster onto the couch cushions carelessly.
"I've been doing it for a while," He admits, voice low as he speaks. For a second, he battles with the right words in his head. There were a lot of reasons why. A lot of things to make up for. He inhales a deep breath, and sighs it slowly out, before turning to look back at her. He parts his lips a little, before continuing on. "I think they forget. Sometimes. All of them. That not every crisis comes in the size of Godzilla destroying Tokyo." He says, shaking his head a little and going back to unstrap the holster from his other thigh, right foot nestled back onto the corner of the table. "Stark builds her massive robots and tries to take on whole armies of terrorists all by herself. Nat infiltrates and undermines governments and political sects. Steve tries to save the whole damn world one burning city at a time." He pulls the holster off and drops it onto the couch with the other. "I think, sometimes, they all forget that threats, real threats, can just be a single...thing. A single entity. Something small and discrete, that leads to something terrible."
Like me.
He stands up straight once more, and tugs his hair out of the loose ponytail absent-mindedly, running his metal fingers through it to smooth it out and buy a second to gather his thoughts. "Last week, I caught intel of a group of Ukrainian boeviks who'd decided to branch out by taking young girls off of the street and selling them into human trafficking." He explains, focusing his gaze onto hers. "One girl...Amara...was only twelve when they took her."
In the back of his mind, he watches twelve girls dance with knives in their ballet slippers.
"Tonight, I took her home."
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Nov 28, 2015 15:55:00 GMT -7
Teresa watches him and listens. She thinks that a part of her understands what he means. While the others go after the big baddies, they seem to forget about the ones that were in their own country. She put her hands back into the pockets of her jeans and let him continue to talk.
The more he said the more she started to, even if only a little bit, understand what he was doing. She looked down at the ground once more and wondered just what Steve would say if he found out but she knew that Bucky would be careful. Especially if he didn't want Steve to find out just what he was doing, again that wouldn't come from her. If he wanted Steve to know then he would have to tell him himself. Hell she wasn't even going to tell Barton because she knew that he would probably end up saying something.
She smiled slightly when he said that he took the young girl home. "I think," she started and slowly moved her dark eyes up to look at him. "that there is so much bad in this world and maybe even just starting small people could make this place better." But Teresa knew that no matter what she probably wouldn't be one of them. Her father wanted to, still, strap a .45 to her thigh and send her out in the world to kill monsters. But all Teresa ever wanted to do was use a bow and arrow and now she couldn't even do that because of her messed up shoulder.
Teresa sighed under her breath and then smiled softly. "But really though, be careful, Steve cares about you too much and the last thing he wants is for something bad to happen to you again" she gave him a nod before she slowly turned around.
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Post by Ray on Nov 28, 2015 16:09:54 GMT -7
"Someone has to do it." He murmurs. Someone with plenty of experience. Someone who has a lot to make up for. Bucky doesn't always know if this is the right decision, but it is his only decision. Or at the least the only one that he could allow himself to consider. Steve is content with the thought of Bucky playing house; curled up in sweats and watching bad Netflix, worrying more about dinner than what's happening half a world away, or even down the street. He means well, God Bucky knows with his whole heart that he does, but that's just not him. And even if he tried to make himself be that guy...
What gives him the right to sit and play nice when each step of his leaves behind a bloody mess.
"You don't have to worry about me." Bucky replies, even though she's turned her back. He feels like he's said it a thousand times before, but maybe...somehow...Teresa would actually listen. "There isn't anything left of me to hurt." It's the first time he's said it in what feels like decades. The words cause a tightness in his chest that forces him to suck in a breath and drop his eyes away. He scratches a hand over the trimmed stubble lining his jaw, and clears his throat quietly.
"I'll uh. I'll tell Steve you dropped by."
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