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Post by Snowglobe18 on Apr 3, 2016 14:57:19 GMT -7
When Poe asked her what happened, it was pretty much the same question she had asked Hill and that's when she got everything answered for her. The pit in her stomach had formed and she had waited to see if it would come true and when Maria actually confirmed it, she had felt that scream pushing up from her stomach. The deep scream that pierced people's hearts when they heard it. The affects she was still feeling in the back of her throat. The lump was back as she thought all of this over and she actually didn't want to say anything but he was going to find out in the end when they got back to HQ.
Emily pulled her lip in between her teeth once more and waited for a moment, making sure that she had everything in her head right so that she could tell him, even if she didn't want too. "Well I had been trying to get hold of HQ for a while and I couldn't and when I did finally get through Hill had said it been hectic there and I don't know why but those words just seemed to hit me hard" she admitted and moved so that she was sitting beside him. "Hill then went onto say that they had an agent who was critical and when she said it was Caesar, I just lost it" she admitted and looked towards the computer. "He has lost a lot of blood and has suffered more trauma for them to actually pinpoint anything down and..." she then hesitated for a moment on the last bit but it has been running through her head since she had heard it.
"He flat-lined three times on the return back."
"He's flat-lined three times and they are doing everything they can.." she looked down at her hands and clenched them into fists. That feeling was back in her stomach once more but she pushed it away as best as she could. Her brown eyes then moving from her hands and over to look at Poe.
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Post by Ray on Apr 3, 2016 15:11:45 GMT -7
As soon as those last words leave Emily's mouth, Poe shoves himself back to his feet. He breathes hard and deep, his mouth clamped closed but his nostrils flaring with each inhale. That stupid, goddamn son of a bitch. Too arrogant and hard-headed to let anyone help him. Too much of an ass to recognize that he's in trouble. Too selfless to let anyone else besides himself get hurt. Such a fucking reckless prick.
Poe's hands ball into fists at his side and he leaves the meeting room without another word, knowing that if he even so much as opens his mouth all of that anger and spite and agony would come pouring free. He marches on heavy, purposeful feet to his bunk, and slams the sliding door shut behind him. His heart hammers like a war drum in his chest, and, just like Emily, all he wants to do is scream.
He should have been there he should have been there he should have been there.
He paces the small space of his bunk, back and forth back and forth, too riled up to sit down but too out of his goddamn mind to pretend like he doesn't want to smother himself with a pillow.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Apr 3, 2016 15:24:08 GMT -7
Emily watches as he gets to his feet and then leaves her sitting on the floor. He doesn't say anything and neither does she, what is there really to say? she was sure she couldn't lie again because everytime she does say a lie, it's like her throat is closing over. For a moment she just stays on the ground and lets the silence of the room, hell the silence of the lounge filter in around her and she leaned her head back against the wall behind her.
What the hell had Caesar done? Two people who cared about him so much was sitting on this damn plane tearing themselves apart. Whether it was anger at themselves or anger at him, it was hitting home just how bad all of this was. Just how much all of this was going to hurt if the SHIELD doctors couldn't save him. At that thought she closed her eyes tightly and prayed that she didn't actually think of that at all.
After what felt like hours, which it probably wasn't, she opened her eyes and got off the floor grabbing the first aid kit with her as she did and moved over to the computer. She saw the crack in it and then bit down on her lip. Emily was going to have to get someone on that and hoped that Fury wouldn't come down hard on her for not being able to control one of her agents. But how do you really tell someone to control their anger when they had found out their friend was critically hurt in the medical wing back in the Triskelion. She cleared her throat and moved out of the meeting room, putting the kit back behind the bar and grabbing herself a bottled water.
Emily knew she was going to have to tell the others but she couldn't bring herself to get the words out again. She moved down the stairs and went into the lab where Fitzsimmons and Teresa was. "We're heading back to the Triskelion"
"Is everything okay?" Jemma asked and came to stand next to Fitz who had his hands on his hips while Teresa was sat on the one seat in the whole lab.
There was that question again and for the first time she didn't feel okay, nothing felt okay but she couldn't explain that to them. "Another team has taken on the mission" she pushed herself to smile. "Make sure that everything in his is safely put away" she nodded before moving away from the lab doors and back up the stairs and with every step that she took she felt like her breath was being taken away from her.
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Post by Ray on Apr 3, 2016 23:26:44 GMT -7
It takes several hours for them to arrive back at the Triskelion, and Poe doesn't leave his bunk in all of that time. It's not until the loading dock descends that Poe reappears, straight-faced but tensed in every muscle of his body, his feet carrying him past everyone and straight out into the hangar bay.
Caesar's X-Wing sits in its usual spot, empty and quiet.
He jams the up button on the elevator twenty times before the doors open.
"Commander Hill," Harrison speaks, appearing at her left shoulder. Maria doesn't turn her gaze away from the one-way window, watching the prone figure lying in the bed on the other side, draped in a white blanket and monitored by a dozen machines. Her mouth is drawn in a frown. She's not sure she could fake a smile at this point. "Agent Bryant has just arrived, ma'am. He's demanding to see the patient."
Maria releases a slow breath, uncrossing her arms from their tight spot across her chest. She fixes the hem of her black suit jacket routinely, and turns away from the glass. Harrison follows at her heels as she walks towards the door, and steps through into the hallway beyond.
She hears Poe before she even sees him.
"I don't give a shit. He's my partner. I want to see him-"
"Sir, I understand but he's in no condition for visitors right now-"
"Oh, shove it up your ass."
"Bryant." Maria calls out, and Poe turns his surly expression towards her. His hands are balled in fists at his side, but his eyes betray his fear. "You shouldn't be here." She tells him, voice flat and authoritative.
"Like hell. I want to see him." He continues on with his demands, directing them all at her this time. The slightly aggravated doctor huffs out a breath, glad to not be the one taking the brunt of Poe's anger, but still looking frustrated with this whole situation. They all are.
"Not an option." Maria shakes her head once, her gaze unwavering. Poe's shoulders square up, his head swiveling to the side in exasperation, a tight breath sucking its way in between his clenched teeth. He looks nearly on the verge of tears, and nearly on the verge of hitting the closest thing to him. Maria couldn't possibly blame him if he did.
"Well can you fucking just tell me if he's alive!" Poe yells out, his voice ringing against the thick walls, loud and pained. His dark eyes are back on her, impatient and searching, and Maria has to draw in a deep breath to keep her own cool.
"He's alive." She replies, and Poe chokes out an inhuman sound of relief deep in his throat. "But under a lot of duress. He needs rest. And so do you. Go home Bryant. We'll call if his condition changes." Maria turns away from him, moving back towards the observation door.
"That's it?" Poe calls after her. "That's all you're giving me?"
Maria pauses, a hand on the door, and looks back at him. "Go. Home." And she closes the door with a click behind her.
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Apr 4, 2016 0:18:59 GMT -7
In the hours it takes for them to get back to the Triskelion, Emily is lost, more than lost it's like a feeling that she has never felt before but she's not sure if it was down to the horror of what has happened to Caesar or whether it was because she was getting lost in her mind. She was tired, there was no doubt about that. Since telling Poe about Caesar, he hasn't come out of his bunk and in honesty she couldn't blame him. More than that she wanted to hide out too but in the end she still had to get the team home.
In the end, Emily decided to tell the rest of the team about Caesar, but she had said that he had been hurt on another mission, she guessed that was somewhat true because he had been on a mission. One to find the other psychic. But she didn't give them any more details other than they were going back to the Triskelion and letting another team take on the mission, even if it probably wasn't liked. But in honesty she really didn't care.
Tripp landed them safely back in the hangar and she felt this overwhelming feeling hit her the more the bay door opened. She felt all the emotions hit her again but this time she wasn't sure if she would actually scream or throw up this time. Emily watched as Poe left the plane and she swallowed hard before looking down. There was something in her that was stopping her from following after him. She wanted to know about Caesar too. Wanted to know if he was alive but she couldn't make her feet move to follow after Poe. Instead she watched as Jemma went after him. Even if everything in her told Jemma to leave Poe. But she didn't open her mouth.
The rest of the team quietly and quickly left the Bus, probably not sure what they could really do or say but she knew they would be there if they were needed. Now it left Emily on the plane and the silence kicked in and before she know it she felt like she was having a panic attack, she couldn't breathe. But after a little moment it passed and she was able to move.
Just as she was about to go back upstairs, one of the maintenance men from the hangar floor came up on the ramp. It was then that she remembered they needed the computer fixing in the meeting room and it was very likely that they wouldn't be going anywhere for a while so they would have time to get it fixed. "We're going to need the touch-screen computer being fixed" her voice sounded hollow even to her and she gave a slight smile.
"I'll get onto it right away" the guy said and nodded before walking back down the ramp, leaving the blonde there on her own.
Jemma watched Poe and then put her hands into the pockets of her jeans, Maria was telling him to go home but she knew differently. She knew that he wouldn't leave this very spot. Hell if it was Fitz then she would be doing the same, so she really couldn't blame him but at the same time maybe Hill was right, maybe he did need a bit of rest just like Caesar did. When Maria left them and went back into the room she removed a hand from her pocket and gently put it on his shoulder. "You need to give them a little bit of time" she said in a soft voice. Even if it was words that she probably wouldn't want to hear either but Caesar did need the time to rest and for Poe to at least calm down a little bit. Even if she was sure that would't happen.
She slowly lowered her hand from his shoulder and then moved to lean against the wall. For a doctor like her, coming to somewhere like this was pretty normal but when it was someone from your own team... It was hard. But she would stay here for as long as Poe needed her to be there and if he wanted her to leave then she would do that too.
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Post by Ray on Apr 8, 2016 21:08:32 GMT -7
Poe's shoulders deflate, his brown eyes fixed upon the now sealed door. He feels his throat tighten with the sob that threatens to break free, but swallows it back down like a pill the size of his fist. A hand falls upon his shoulder, and it's only then that Poe realizes that Jemma followed him from the plane. But he doesn't turn. A part of him doesn't want to. Despite her soft reassurances, all he can hear is Maria echoing back at him in her voice. His fingernails dig into his palms, and he shrugs his shoulder out of Jemma's grip. "I need to see him." He replies, keeping his gaze upon the door and taking a slow step towards it, silently wondering if it would be even possible to sneak his way in. He snuck into Maria's office once. He could probably manage it again.
But he knows his anger, and Caesar's condition, is nothing compared to a simple theft.
"They don't know him like I do." He mutters under his breath, feeling the need to pace or sit down or just rush the door the next time it opens just a crack. His body is both exhausted and so pent up with anxious energy that he's likely to do all three in the span of thirty seconds.
"He needs someone in there with him."
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Apr 8, 2016 22:51:46 GMT -7
Jemma watched him and could feel the sadness building up in her, she liked Caesar. He was funny and definitely charming, so it really didn't take her by surprised that she would be feeling sadness about Caesar being hurt. Emily had told them the reason that they were turning back was because of Caesar being hurt but she didn't tell them just how badly, even though she clearly knew. If Caesar being hurt made them turn around in the air and head back towards the Triskelion then it would definitely have to be bad.
"I know you probably don't want to hear it but he probably needs the rest after the surgery" she said sadly. "And they might be making you wait so that you can calm down a little, Caesar really doesn't need to see you like this" she then looked over at him. It was hard, she knew, but he really did need to calm down. He could get Caesar worked up, when he woke up, and it could end with him being sent out of the room anyway but at the moment the only person these people were concentrating on was Caesar and really keeping him alive.
At that thought she felt her throat tighten like someone was holding onto it and she had to swallow a few times to make sure that the feeling disappeared. It had been a long few days for everyone but mostly for Emily and Poe as they worried about Caesar. Emily was always the last to leave and definitely the first one in before everyone else. It was going to be tough on the both of them right now but the only common thing they had right now was making sure that Caesar was actually okay. Plus if she knew the medics here, then they wouldn't be letting Poe in for a while.
But even if Poe didn't want her here, she was going to wait right by his side until he actually went in. Jemma moved over to the opposite wall and slid down it so that she sat down on the floor, at least now he wouldn't be alone. Emily really should be here too but she guessed that different people reacted differently to the news and she looked like she was at breaking point when they left the Bus, so it wasn't really that surprising that she wasn't actually here with him right now.
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Post by Ray on Apr 9, 2016 18:11:21 GMT -7
Poe doesn't hear her. Not really. His head is in a whirlwind with only one thought circling out of control. The overwhelming thought that Caesar could die on the other side of that door, and Poe can't do a damn thing about it. He knows the lies that doctors tell. He knows that he's under duress and he needs rest means that they have no clue whether he's going to make it through the night, but, for now, he's stable. He knows that a closed door means they're trying to hide the severity. And most of all, he knows that every single one of those thoughts breaks him apart a little more.
He can't lose Caesar. As bullheaded, arrogant, and downright stupid as he can be, Poe cannot lose him. He doesn't know how he's going to survive SHIELD without him.
Poe presses his back against the wall and crouches down low to the ground, elbows upon his knees and his stare unwavering on the door. He chews on his thumbnail, and waits.
Not
Easily
Conquered
The sharp crack drags him from the deep blackness, kicking and choking on the tubes jammed down the length of his throat. Through the ringing in his ears, he hears a chorus of voices around him; surprised, loud, panicked. He pushes against the grabbing hands holding him down, his skin on fire, his brain screaming a high-pitched wail, his heart threatening to break free of the prison bars that are his ribs. He can't breathe.
"Caesar." He hears, distantly. A pair of palms squeeze around his arm, warm and strong. "Caesar, stay with us." He turns his head to seek out the voice, but the darkness swallows him whole.
I'm sorry.
" --nd I thought Soviet fashion was bad." A woman's voice filters in through the fog of morphine.
He's aware of the thrum of machines around him long before he's aware that he's awake. His eyes crack open slowly, lids heavy and aching and sore, and the onslaught of new light burns. A steady beep - beep - beep times itself to the slow rhythm of his heartbeat.
A pair of feet - clad in knee-high, brown leather boots - rests upon the edge of his bed at his knees, crossed at the ankles and gently pulling at the thin blue blanket that covers him. His dark brows furrow, his mouth draws down in a deep frown, and he flicks his tired brown eyes in the direction of their owner. The fashion magazine is held up high, covering her face, but her blood-red nails and matching hair give her away instantly.
Caesar watches the Widow for a long time, and tries to remember when the hell they became friends. His gaze catches Kim Kardashian on the cover of the magazine, right beneath a printed date that reads April 2016, and finds himself at least a little relieved that he hasn't apparently missed much.
"How's Rami?" He croaks out, his voice rough and slurred of lack of use. Natalia doesn't even flinch. Instead, she curls the page of the magazine downwards and regards him with a raised brow. There's a hint of humor there. Or so he thinks. He can't tell with her.
"Fine." She replies, simplistically. Relief drips through his veins like the drugs they have him hooked up to. "But you're not so hot."
"Thanks for the update." Caesar mutters, sarcasm lacing his words thickly. He turns his head away and closes his eyes momentarily, swallowing down the dry, scratchy lump that tears at his throat as it goes down. Natalia pulls her feet off of the bed and lays the now-closed magazine upon her lap.
"You took one hell of a beating, Laurent. Not many agents can say the same." She watches him with her grey eyes. He can feel it. "Guess you got someone on your side."
"I don't believe in God." Caesar replies, opening his eyes once more and glancing back towards her.
A slight smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. "Neither do I."
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Apr 9, 2016 18:39:47 GMT -7
Everytime she thinks about getting off the plane, a feeling pulls at her heart and stomach, so in the end she had just taken herself up to her office and sat down in the chair. The tech guy, that wasn't Fitz, told Emily that it would possibly take a little bit to get the computer sorted and she nodded. But it didn't matter because they wouldn't be going anywhere for a little bit anyway. The others have disappeared. Fitz was probably working through some things in the science department, while at the same time trying to work out his feelings about Caesar. Jemma had left with Poe, Emily knew she would look after him. Teresa and Tripp had made their excuses too and it left Emily still on the plane. It was quiet around here when it wasn't running it's engines. It was quiet when no one was on the damn thing.
She looked down into the glass and swirled it around before knocking the drink back and leaning back in her seat. It was quiet moments like this that her head seemed to come alive and she just wanted to be left alone. But the thoughts kept prodding at her brain like it was an experiment. It even kept thinking up images of Caesar and every time she saw the image it would burn into the back of her eyelids so that she could see it more clearly.
A part of her wanted to go and see him but the other half couldn't move from any spot. She couldn't force herself to get off the plane but in the end she was going to have to do it. Emily knew that Poe would have it covered, she knew that he would make sure Caesar was okay. She crossed one arm across her chest and leaned the elbow of the other arm on the back of her hand before leaning her head against the back of her knuckles.
Emily couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if she hadn't had her mind abuse in the office of the specialist, would she be at the door to the room he was in fighting against Hill to let her in? Probably but at the moment she couldn't do it. Poe would get into see him, and maybe she would ask him just how he was but as for going to see Caesar right now, Emily couldn't bring herself to go up there. She poured herself another drink and knocked it back, biting down on her lip afterwards. It tasted horrible and she was probably going to get in a lot of trouble for drinking while at work but she honestly found she really didn't care.
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Post by Ray on Apr 9, 2016 21:25:56 GMT -7
And you...
Well you're comfortable with anything "If you weren't already in a hospital bed, I'd put you in one myself." Maria grunts first thing the next morning -- or has it been a couple of days? Caesar can't tell anymore. He slips in and out of consciousness as easily as most people change their minds. When he isn't swimming in an endless void within his own skull, the doctors are all running their tests, swarming around him like buzzards. He doesn't like hospitals. He likes being a test subject even less. But he endures, and only really because he has no other choice. Even if he could move, there are a lot of doors between him and home, and he doesn't have the desire to contemplate the amount of energy that'll take. Maria has him on lock-down. While he does know it's for his own good, he also knows that he hasn't seen Poe or Emily once since he first woke up. Natalia has been his only visitor. Always here when he manages to break back to reality, always reading some gossip magazine, always popping gum. He wonders if Maria talked her into keeping him company. Or if the Black Widow really just has nothing better to do. "There's always next time." He offers, picking at the fabric of the blanket with a nail. His back is propped up at a forty-five degree angle in the strangely comfortable bed, a pillow stuffed behind his neck and far too many connectors and tubes and needles stuck on him or in him. "Yeah, well, as soon as you're cleared by the medical staff, I'm putting you on leave." Hill replies from where she stands, her posture straight and her arms crossed over her chest. She looks like she hasn't slept in a while, but Caesar doesn't say that out loud. Maria might actually kill him if he does. "Too much shit has happened for me to even consider putting you back on active duty. You died, Laurent. Three times. Your brain should be putty by now, but somehow you managed to pull through and I don't know whether to thank God, the doctors, or my unbelievable desire to yell at you in person for that." "My money's on you." "Damn right." Maria huffs, and paces down to the end of his bed. Caesar's dark eyes follow her, the faint trace of a smile curving up one corner of his mouth. She heaves out a sigh and lays her palms down upon the metal rail, hanging her head momentarily. "I'm going to need you to tell me what happened. Soon. I have a terrified kid two doors over and a dead body in our morgue, and I can't explain any of it. But I want you to rest." She looks up at him, and her brown eyes are full of exhaustion and sympathy. Maybe even a speck of fear, like Caesar still might break in two. "For now, just..." She pulls in a deep breath. "Rest." "Yes, ma'am." "And Laurent." "Yes?" Caesar asks, arching a brow at her. "Don't ever do that again."
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Post by Snowglobe18 on Apr 10, 2016 4:25:24 GMT -7
"You been to see him yet?" Teresa asks Emily as she hands over a cup filled with coffee.
Emily shakes her head. She had slept here, well if you could really call it sleep, everytime she started to nod off she was jolted awake by some stupid thought in her head. "I can't bring myself to do it" she admitted and then pulled her lip in between her teeth. The tech guy hadn't been able to fix the computer just yet due to the fact they were going to have to get the part she wanted. Who knew they would have to get something in? Emily sure as hell didn't know.. Not that she really cared at this precise moment.
"Isn't it driving you insane not knowing?" Teresa sits down in one of the chairs that are outside of the meeting room. She had found Emily here this morning and ended up staying up here with her while the guy dithered about on which place he was going to have to get the stuff from. It was all very out of her league but she had wanted to talk to Emily anyway, so she stayed.
Emily looked down at her coffee cup and then sighed. "Yeah, it is but I know that Poe will have it covered. He..." she couldn't even say what he would do, she hasn't even seen Simmons this morning but then again she guessed it was still early. She checked her phone.. Or maybe it wasn't early. She moved over and sat down in the chair opposite Teresa and put both coffee and phone on the table in between them. "It was really bad.. Caesar he.." she swallowed hard and looked out the small window on her left hand side, the inside of the hangar was pretty boring compared to the sky they were usually flying in. She couldn't bring herself to say the words to anyone else. "It was bad" she nodded and then swallowed hard.
Teresa nodded once. "But still.. you have to go see him" she gave a soft smile before taking a drink from her coffee cup and then looked around the room. "It's so quiet in here when no one is around" she never really noticed it before but then again when she arrived it was always full with the team so now it's nice to just sit and take everything in. Or maybe not for Emily who looked like she was living inside of her head. She could see her lips moving but no sound coming out. In honesty it looked like this had really unhinged her. So it was understandable that she didn't want to go and see Caesar, would she be so ready to take a step in a room if it was Graeme? If it was Barton or even Steve that was in there? Or hell even Bucky? Teresa didn't think she could actually do it herself so she was starting to see where Emily was coming from but she was starting to worry about her.
Emily knew deep down that in the end she would have to push herself to go and see him but every step felt like she had lead on her feet. Like they were making moving very hard. It was weird to think that with everything that had happened in this plane, Caesar and Hunter arguing.. The team being put under pressure from different missions, to think that this would actually be her sanctuary. But maybe at the same time it wasn't so weird. In here she could escape having to go into the building, in here nothing seemed real but if she ended up going outside of this plane then it would feel crushing and it would feel real to the part that she would feel it all over again. Caesar had flat-lined three times. He had died and it was tearing Emily apart to think that she wasn't in that damn room with him right now but she just couldn't. "Yeah" she said and looked around the lounge. "But at the same time it's nice when it has people in here too, it means then that there's a lot of noise" she smiled and leaned back in her chair. At least with everyone around it would keep her mind occupied. Her phone then vibrated. "It's from Simmons" she said after she picked it up. A message. She bit down on her lip. "They haven't been let in to see Caesar yet" she said and bit down on her lip for a moment. She would hate to wait outside of any door but it would hurt her more to wait outside of Caesar's.
"Sounds like he's on lock-down" Teresa said after a moment to which Emily nodded.
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